It was like a scene from a bad chick flick. I'd sent my ex-boyfriend a link to a website for Viagra.
Rewind ten minutes: I stumbled into the living room, just out of bed on the morning of April 1st, and took up residence on my dad's recliner. My mom and I passed pleasantries for a few moments. Then she sighed. You know, that sigh that says "You are in it deep, and I am trying not to laugh."
"I've got a question," she began. "Were you up at 6:45 this morning sending out emails?"
"No," I intoned. "I'm pretty sure I was asleep. Why?"
"Well, I've got an email from 'you.' It has a link to website for Australian cricket." Here her lips pursed, and her eyes slid away from me. It was probably at this moment that my sleep-clouded mind began to assess the situation.
I was in it deep.
"Of course," she continued. "It's actually a link to a website for Viagra. You also sent it to Joe from church, your school email, your father, and a couple of other people I don't know."
I grabbed my Nook and flicked the screen till I got to my mail. There were no new messages in my sent box. I flicked over to my school email. Indeed, there was a message from myself. I checked the other emails it'd been sent to.
Joe from church... fixable.
A high school teacher... fixable.
My prudish ex-boyfriend that barely got to the kiss-on-the-cheek stage after 6 months... Oh dear.
I'm sure there are plenty of girls that would have loved to send their ex a searing love note as such. Considering my ex and I do not talk, and the only reason his email was still on my contacts was because I was too lazy to figure out how to remove it, this was not the case.
After imagining my ex's face, I laughed so hard that I cried, then flew into damage control mode. I sent out a short mass email, jokingly admitting that I had been hacked and/or trolled hard by life. I got a response... from my ex.
"Lol. No offense taken."
Moral of the story: Don't send out sexy spam unless your ex is no longer on your contact list.
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